I’ve recently come to the conclusion that job hunting and dating (man hunting, if you will) basically follow the same painstaking process—especially because both are mostly done online these days:
- You search; spending hours scrolling and scouring different sites for a description that ticks all your boxes.
- You apply; reaching out with a message and hope that the online version of you presented via resumé or profile is enough to incite mutual interest.
- You wait; if you’re lucky, you won’t be left hanging too long before arranging an opportunity to meet in person.
(Of course, in dating, you could always go the more traditional route of meeting an actual person, realizing you’re attracted to them, coming up with what you think is a cute way to ask them out, and STILL watch it blow up in your face. Gee, I wonder what that’s like …)
In preparation, you spend an excessive amount of time analyzing your closet:
You want to look nice, but not like you’re trying too hard. Should you go with flats or heels? Flats are more comfortable, but heels are more professional (and also boost us short girls up to an easier kissing height). Hair up or down? Do these earrings match this top? Subtle make-up, a spritz of light perfume, aaaaand is any of this agonizing over physical appearance even going to matter in a couple of hours? Are they really going to remember what you wore? Shouldn’t the conversation be more important than this superficial nonsense?
But first impressions are everything. And a first interview, or first date, sets the tone for the relationship, working or otherwise, that may or may not come next. So you sit there scrutinizing each other, trying to suss out what you might have in common. “Tell me about yourself” has never triggered so much anxiety. It’s a game of 20 Questions and each side should be equally inquisitive; if not, there’s already an obvious disconnect.
By the end, you either feel that it went really well or maybe you’re still unsure, but you cross your fingers anyway and hope to hear from them again. If a week goes by and it’s still crickets, how soon is too soon to follow up? Should you wait for them to say something first? What if they don’t? What if they’re waiting for you? It’s an excruciating guessing game and make no mistake, it is a GAME that needs to be played very carefully or you risk the one outcome that job hunting and dating definitely have in common.
Good ol’ fashioned rejection. Continue reading “On rejection.”